Yes, I am gay, and it's not easy.

I will be writing a lot about my life, I mean what else is a blog for? If you are easily offended, than do not read, well please read, my purpose here is to share my feelings and to make you think.
When people ask me do I believe in God, I saw yes, I may even say that I see myself as a gay Catholic. I was raised a Catholic, was very involved with my youth group, and yes I even looked into entering the priesthood. I was hiding from my sexuality, and was not ashamed of it, rather, I honestly felt like I had a calling to it. And if you think I like little boys you are wrong, being gay doesn’t make you a pedophile. And if you want to know about my boyfriend, he’s 49, masculine, and the love of my life. He served as a Marine like my Father, and as a cop. Yes, you read right, a gay cop/marine, there’s more out there too. Now back to my blog. I struggled throughout my older childhood knowing that I liked older men. I never thought it was wrong, even though my parents, and many churches assume it’s wrong and evil. Hell I cannot mention the priests who have told me that it’s ok to be a gay catholic, as long as I am partnered to one man. But I have not lived like this without my own demons, and struggles. I mean When were you told that the way you were was wrong, to the point that someone told you, “ You are going to burn in Hell for who you are.” I’m sorry, but I just do not buy that. I know I was made the way I am, God did not mess up, he made me who I am. A proud gay man. So back to the struggle, I may sound like your “typical, I’m proud to be gay” guy here, but I have my reasons. You will not hear me say “I’m here and I’m queer.” But I will not allot anyone to throw me into the closet again.
I put myself in the closet to hide from the torment I was facing from my family and faith community, but never again will I allow myself to go there again. Why you ask, I will not go there again, because it did more harm to me than good. Too often you hear about men sneaking around, and claiming to be straight, when in fact they are F**king the guy in the next bathroom stall. Too many straight people think this is what it means to be gay, and I am here to be another voice to say, this is what many men in the community do, but not all. It would be like if I said all straight men are after P**sy and nothing more. So why say ALL gay men are after D*ck.
When was the last time tat you found yourself sitting alone thinking about your family with a gun in your mouth because you couldn’t share who you really were with your family and friends. When was the last time you stood on a bridge wondering who would miss you if you jumped. When was the last time you felt so alone that you felt like no one wanted to be your friend, all because of who you were attracted to. When was the lat time your parents didn’t take your depression seriously enough, that you swallowed a full bottle of pills so that they had no choice but to listen to you. This is the pain that today’s homosexuals go through. And while some may say that “society supports” us, this statement is false. Part of society is our family, and peers, and it’s this group of people that can either make or break a person. I grew up in a very strict Catholic family, and “homo fags” were to be avoided, and not acknowledged. It was this mind set that brought me to depression, and medications. I fought long and hard to get to where I am. I am now out to my immediate family, and to my close friends, everyone else is on a need to know basis. So The next time you hear a gay person stand up for who they are, think of where they might have been personally, Though I am out, my life is not easy, and one thing you’ll see as I post is that my mother greatly opposes me being gay, and my relationship with my boyfriend Shawn. Well I’m having a brain fart, and am not writing to by best caliber.
Slante’