Goodbye Cruel world.

Good bye cruel world, your love for me has gone now. I once found comfort in your community, now I only see despair. What ever happened to the land of opportunity? Land of the “American dream” and equal rights. Where did the promise of freedom go? Blacks can now marry whites, and you now have the freedom to marry whom ever you choose, as long as they’re of the opposite sex. Where are the equal rights? Are GLBT persons really all that bad? Where do we get off saying that we have equal human rights when GLBT persons cannot even get married?
Good bye cruel world, what was once a land of great things, is now slowly turning into a wasteland of talent. It seems like yesterday there were hundreds of jobs available, now like chickens, we peck at the few remaining jobs out there. The socialist idea of healthcare for all may seem good on paper, but to those who jobs only provide the bare minimum, it’s a living hell. If I perish from this world, let it be known that I died, smothered in the blanket of bs, known as modern day society.

My recent feelings.

We are the oppressed and minority of society. Too many, this is the common view of Gay people, but for me I do not buy it. We are only as oppressed as we allow ourselves. In this situation we are our own worst enemy. How can we expect anyone to give us any rights or dignity if we don’t even allot them for ourselves? Straight people walk in malls arm in arm, and yes, they do kiss in public. But when was the last time you saw a gay couple do such an act? And why not…I mean don’t we cry for equal rights? Don’t we want to be equal? So why aren’t more gay couples out there walking arm in arm, or hand in hand? How can we as gay people expect to be treated as equal if we don’t act as equal. If it wasn’t for the courage of a few black people in the past, we’d still be segregating coloured people to separate areas. But because enough coloured people had the courage to stand up for what they believed in, and they showed the “popular society” that they were in no way different than the white man, we now have equal right for coloured folk. So where is our courage? Where do we stand? Or, do you even stand? Do you expect someone to fix your problem for you? Change is not someone else’s problem, change begins with you.
You know, I have a lot of admiration for people who are not afraid of showing off their flair, for a lack of better terms. And yes, even the gay couple who walks hand in hand. We cannot expect to see change if we are forever hiding. For example, I never knew there was a shortage of African Blackwood trees, until I was told by a friend, and then read about it in an article. If it wasn’t for those two sources, I would have never thought there was a problem. The same, in my mind goes for GLBT people in today’s society. When people talk about GLBT people, they talk about how dirty, and immoral they are. They pass judgments like, why should they get married, and their sex is weird. Seldom do they take the time to think about the GLBT people they may know.
We are a silent minority, and are damning ourselves to persecution because of our own fears. “Well what if they don’t like gay people, and the bash us.” Can we really expect a bloodless battle? Bloodless, no, but we can avoid fatalities. The point of this blog is to say this. If we as gay people are hiding the fact that we are in happy committed relationships, then how can we expect straight people to change their view on us? If we don’t show that we are more than show tunes, and fashion, then how can we expect them to understand that we are capable of deep meaningful relationships? These are just my random ramblings, and feelings.

Turkey Pick-up lines.....OMG!

"Are those breasts real?"
"Wanna go back to my place and get sauced?"
"Have you lost weight or did they just start carving you already?"
"Fancy a pluck?"
"I did my share of flocking around when I was younger, but now it's time to settle down, not lose my head, and find a hen who wants me for more than my pecker."
"It takes me four and a half hours to really get cookin'."
"Aren't you tired of being cooped up here?"
"Hey baby, wanna help me get the juice out of my baster?"
"PLEEEAAASSSEEE!! I'm honestly gonna die Thursday!"
And the best turkey pick up line is !!

"Is that your pop-up timer, or are you just happy to see me?"

Things that sound dirty on Thanksgiving, but aren't

"Talk about a huge breast!"
"It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?"
"Don't play with your meat."
"Just spread the legs open & stuff it in."
"I didn't expect everyone to come at once!"
"You still have a little bit on your chin."
"How long will it take after you stick it in?"
"You'll know it's ready when it pops up."
"That's the biggest one I've ever seen!"
"How long do I beat it before it's ready?"
"Just reach in and grab the giblets."
"Whew...that's one terrific spread!"
"I am in the mood for a little dark meat!"
"Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist."
"Talk about a HUGE breast!"
"And he forces his way into the end zone!"
"She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down."
"It's cool whip time!"
"If I don't unbutton my pants, I am going to burst!"
and the best one that sounds dirty at Thanksgiving but isn't . .

"It must be broken 'cause when I push on the tip, nothing squirts out."

Four, Four, Four, Four...

A) Four places that I go to over and over
Work, Wal-Mart, Home, Sharmaine's



B) Four people who e-mail me(regularly):
Boo Bear, Sharmaine, Tracy, Bob Kells


C) Four of my favorite places to eat:
The 99 Restaurant, Cheesecake Factory, Kitty's, Annie’s Overflow

D) Four places I would rather be right now:

Provincetown Mass., Rifle Colorado, On horseback in the woods, Back in my homeland, where I could meet my parents.



(E) Four people who will respond:
. John, Mikey, Sharmaine, Tracy



F) Four TV shows I watch.:
NCIS, South Park, Family Guy, Stoli Be Real

Random blog.

As many of you may or may not know, the woman I call my mother is not my birth mother, DUH! They come home from my sister’s place, and I’m already in the process of cleaning. I stop to tell my Father that the town has shut off the water supply(sewer work), and was wondering if we knew how long it was going to last. I turn to put two cans of hash away, and my mother says, “when are you going to put this stuff away, You know I can’t stand to have stuff around the house.” Now I will be the first to admit to you that here in Mass, I am not a clean person. I throw my shit on the floor, and leave it until the next time I need it. But when I travel, or am elsewhere, I am anal about my stuff, and who touches it. But my mother’s idea of a clean house is that of one from the Country home and Garden mags. I can’t see how anyone would want to live in a home that doesn’t look lived in, but that’s her idea of comfortable living. Me, I don’t mind a ripped couch, or a dented floor, as long as the roof isn’t leaking, I’m cool. I can’t stand this, and once again,(Yes John, this is about the 1000th time now) I’ve been kicked out. I’m free to have my “fun” in NH, after all, not everyone can spend money every weekend on travel. I’m sorry, but I’m working on keeping a relationship, and this one is going to stay. We are on our eight month, and if my mother doesn’t like it she can Fuck off. I’ve had it with her shit, her biased way, just because we are gay, and I’m tired of being a second rate citizen. I’ve worked too hard to try to fit in, and know what it’s like to be the odd man out. When I think of my mother, I think of my old Catholic School Bully Mark. The kid who used to push me down and punch me because I was Asian. I was told to stick to my own kind. I wasn’t allowed to be friends with the other white kids in school, and that’s why I left the Catholic School system. I had to fight to become an American Citizen, me a Child, who was brought over, had to declare why I had a right to be here. If it was up to me, I’d rather be in a Korean Institution, never allowed to see what the outside world was like. But instead I was adopted to a psychotic mother, who believes what is normal is in her mind. I have no doubt that I will face more physical challenges in my life as I age. I know that I will eventually require double hip, knee and ankle replacements, because of childhood dysphasia. I also know that because of my diabetes, my kidneys are likely to kick out at anytime. But Why should I have to fight with my folks. My father, God bless him, loves Shawn, but won’t stand up to my mother. It’s times like these when McDonalds is looking better by the day. Anything to get my ass out of this house. Maybe I should spend the nights/days in my car, drive to different rest areas, and sleep. Maybe I need to do that, and get out of this house. Something needs to be done, and I’m working at finding a solution, but nothing is showing up. I am not a quitter, and failure is not an option. I’ve invested a lot into the relationship I have now, and I am not the same old person I was two years ago. But I do need to take drastic measures.

Judge me not

Judge me on the contents of my character, and not the colour of my skin.
Judge me on the contents of my character, And not the clothes i wear.
Judge me on the contents of my character, And not the words i use.
Judge me on the contents of my character, And not the music i listen to.
Judge me on the contents of my character, And not the car I drive.
Judge me on the contents of my character, And not the company I keep.
Judge me on the contents of my character, And not the Job I keep.
Judge me on the contents of my character, And not the sex of my partner.
Judge me on the contents of my character, Or judge me not.

Honor

I am a firm believer in Chi, and Honor. Being adopted, I have lost some honor and dignirty because i am not being raised in my homeland or culture. But I will never know this for sure, until the day that I actually visit Korea. I have had alot to deal with growing up, IE, visiting courtrooms, halfways homes, and shelters, all to see my sister Mary. From the age to 8 she has been a problem in the family, and this is where i formed my attraction(plutonic) to cops. I was there for her, and yet, when it comes to me needing a family member supporter, she shys away, nice. There's one thing to remember about honor, as many asians believe, you bring honor to your family. But I have had to come to the realization that This is not true. ONLY I CAN BRING HONOR to MYSELF. My family, and friends cannot bring honor to me, it all lays upon myself. You know destiny is a funny thing, we have no absolute control over it. All we can do is do things that influence our destiny. Just the random thoughts of the day.



Slante'

Kim Chung-Ro

It's been a while

It's been a while since i last posted, and or made a video, so here I am, posting again to say i am not dead...yet. No I am not suicidal, but there are some concerns in my life that have made me come to the realization that something needs to change.

As some of you know, ok, as all of you know, I've been looking for a job in the NH area for a while, with no luck. Well there is a position at the local hospital that is open that i am applying for. While it's not my type of work, it's work none the less. And the health bennies, Damn! If i have to take a size-able pay cut for this job, i just may do that. You see, it's been three months since i last saw the doc for my diabetes, and that visit wasn't good. I've been on the decline for a year, and haven't been doin' well. When i was diagnosed at the age of 18 i took my meds, and was serious about testing three times a day. My A1C was about a 7 and I was fairly healthy. Last year, I went to the doctor, and my A1C was a 12.8 and my doc gave me a 5-7 year time line before i'd be on dialysis and 10-12 year period before i would be dead or need full time hospital care. I'm fucking 22, how sick is that to think I could be dead in ten years. But you know what, maybe i want that...Maybe i am tired of the stresses in life, and maybe I've been trying to kill myself. When I last went to the doc 6 months ago, my doc told me I needed to go on insulin, and if i didn't within 3 years I'd be on dialysis, and 5-7 years dead.

My folks are pressing the issue of me being gay, and are making it some sort of issue. In reality being gay isn't an issue at all, and is fine. But if it really was fine, would kissing, holding hands and hugging in public really be such a big deal? I mean I'd love the chance to hug and kiss Shawn like Tara and John do in public, without the fear of being bashed. Well back to my folks, it seems to be that they will accept Shawn when it's convenient to them, like when we installed the radio in my car. It's a cheap system, but it was a project Shawn and i did together(ok mostly Shawn) and we worked together for a common goal. I in turn learned a lot, and got a kick ass system, and Shawn did something he enjoyed, and got to see something he did, bring pleasure to someone he cares about. Isn't that what relationships are about? Enjoying the little things together? Why can't they see that for once, I have trust in another person, I love another person, and that person loves me.

I've had my SIR/Masters, and guys who told me what to do, when to eat, and who to see. Shawn doesn't do any of that, and still at times, I almost expects him to do that. But it's not in him, it's not who he is. I need to focus in on who I"m with now, and stop thinking about who I've been with. It is for this reason that IK choose to live. I choose to fight, not only for my rights, but for my life. Even if Shawn was to dump me, I'd still want to live, because he has given me hope. He has shown me that not all men are dicks. Then there's my bro, Mike. Mike is not the first guy you'd picture me liking. And I will admit that I used to avoid and bash guys like Mike, but here I am on the same side, and the tables are turned. How can i bash a guy like myself? ok, so he's not a hyper masculine biker/leather guy, who walks around with the ghetto attitude, but he is a man, and one cool one at that. Oh and urrr, i guess we do share an interest in leather...LOL! I know, TMI.

Mike has shown me a softer side, and has offered me a unique friendship that I cannot describe. He has offered advise when I've needed it, and is not afraid to be open and honest. Well, I am at work, and I will have to post a part two.



Peace out,

Slante'

Kim-Chung-Ro

Oh to be back on the street again

Man these videos bring back many memories. If i had a nickel for every time I dragged on my harley, or raced my dodge. I've said enough.





So i am no longer racing illegally, and i do not need the tickets. Besides, I know Shawn would kill me if he knew I was doing it again.