So another monday, another end to a wonderful weekend with Shawn

So I came away from this weekend with a few mixed feelings. And for what I'm about to post, I should post this on the other blog, but oh well. Sat night only one of us reached a full "happy ending" (starts with an "O" but is being called something else for the sake of the blog.) And it wasn't the dom of the relationship. That right there made me feel a bit empty, I mean as a bottom, and submissive guy, how does that speak of my "love making?" Where did i lack? Then sunday night came, and went, and that's the only thing that came, . Again, I felt like I had left Shawn down. But he just laughed it off, saying, hey, it proves that "it" is not the focus of our relationship. I struggle alot with this, not because I am a sex crazed bitch. Well I was "trained" to be one, but besides that, I just feel like that's my role as the sub bottom. Maybe I am not as over my "Training" days as I thought, but I know each day I am with Shawn, I learn something new, both about him and me. I learned this weekend that we are not your typical "gay fuck couple." We are much more than that, and are becoming something beautiful. I am seeing a man who is not only physically wonderful, but emotionally, and psychologically. Saturday evening i even had the courage to hold his hand, while walking back to the car. True, there weren't too many people around, but there's were some, and the thought of holding his hand freaked me out big time, but I did it because I knew I had to. Why should I allow the fear of others' to hinder my affection to the man I love? Too long I have been in the closet, and I need to let go and let love. It's time that I begin to let loose, and love my partner the way he deserves. The look on his eyes was priceless, and I am looking foreward to more looks like that. As I know he'll be reading this, Shawn, from this moment on, you have my word that I will do my best to not hide my love for you like i have in the past.