Good humour

Three men were scheduled to be executed before a firing squad.
One was a muscle bear, one was a leatherman, and one was a blond twink.
They were beginning to be worried because no pardon had come from the governor.
The firing squad was imminent.

The bear suggested, "Right before they get ready to shoot us, let's shout out the name of a natural disaster and then run for our lives! Surely we'll be safe from the bullets that way.......'
All three men agreed.

It came time for the bear's execution, and the commander of the firing squad barked out the order,
"Ready! Aim!" and the bear yelled out "Tornado!" and ran for his life.

Next, it was time for the leatherman's execution, and the commander of the firing squad barked out the order,
"Ready! Aim!" and the leatherman yelled out "Hurricane!" and ran for his life.

Lastly, it was time for the blond twink's execution, and the commander of the firing squad barked out,
"Ready! Aim!" and the twink yelled out "Fire!"


NEW DRUGS

D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to
hell for up to 8 full hours.

ST. PAPA'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats Daddy's depression by rendering partners unconscious for up to two days.

P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid steroid drink for single men. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases cock size and body muscle mass, decreases intelligence, and prevents sexually transmitted disease.

D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-twink-otic for older men. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person and go to college. Can we get naked now?"

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a partner who can't remember your birthday,
anniversary, phone number, or name.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in your wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators and, of course, your favorite cruise bar.

N A G A M E N T
When administered to a boyfriend or partner, provides the same irritation level as bitching at him.